The Worst Way to Start Your Day

A history teacher lecturing you. On the War on Terror. On bin Laden plotting against the US. Of all sorts of lovely things, things that in reality, really screw up my day. It's school, yes, I can get through it. But for a kid with Bipolar, it was an unwelcome event.

So the idea of going to my internship and talking to rude and bratty kids is not all that appealing. Kids are great! When, that is, they are not in a 20-mile radius of me and I'm not being forced to talk to them or interact with them or, God forbid, listen to them! Arrggghh! They drive me up the wall...the metaphorical, about to strangle myself wall.

And yet my day is still going...I'm going to be here until 3 PM--the joy. But it's okay, 'cause catch-up time is an ASAP item on my 'To Do' list, one that's been overlooked for far too long. Everyone I know says, "Summer school? That sucks. Glad I'm not you!"

Now. My question: what is that statement meant to be? A sympathetic string of words to make me feel better? A comparison of their 'great' life compared to mine? Or, perhaps, something that sounds like sympathy but is really sugarcoated and in reality just means, "Ha ha, boy am I glad I'm not having to be in your situation!"

But even if it is, it's okay. It sort of has to be. I can't change my life--at least, not at this very minute, very second) so I might as well adjust myself and get it over with.

So, in order to convince myself that I'm actually on a cruise in the middle of the Bahamas, far away from pestering teachers and homework, and early morning wakeups, I have to find Zen. Pfft. 'Zen' is not something that exists in my life. Why? Well, because in my fabulous life, there is nothing calming or the least bit relaxing on a daily basis.

Okay, I'm sounding like an absolute babbling idiot, especially since I'm just talking. No purpose. No sole direction or solid train of thought. Just words.

But I guess my point here is: I wish I was in my bed; I wish I was curled up on a sofa, eyes boring into the TV screen while me and my family watch Season 4 of Castle. But that's not how it is, so I suck it up and deal. Maybe I can take a nap when  I get home. Maybe not. But hopefully, maybe, I just might be able to sit in a comfy chair for 5 consecutive minutes.

Well. I can hope.