Okay, so I'm only fifteen--and I get that. But have you ever felt so absolutely, incredibly ugly? Like to the point where you just see yourself in the mirror and shudder in disgust? Maybe I'm the only one whose ever felt this way, but sometimes I just want to smash my fist into the glass and dissolve my image. I'm ugly. I'm unwanted.
Yes, I've got my family. Yes, I've got my pets. Yes, I've got doctors and therapists and librarians and blah, blah, blah.
And some days (usually less than often) I've got my friends. But usually I go to school and even though I interact with people; even though I have great friends and we always have a fantastic time together, it still leaves me feeling empty.
I've never been one of those girls who's only real ambition in life is to be pretty, popular, a size negative one, and date every single boy in her state. I'm just not that type of person...
But, and I have to admit this, I find it hard not to get nervous when every single guy in my school thinks I'm just one of them. Because I like it that way, I do--but at the same time, even if I didn't date any, could some at least acknowledge that I'm a female? Ahem?
I guess my only real point now is, am I really that terribly ugly? If I am, please say so. You're only making it hard on me to tell me I'm beautiful. (That's for you, Mom! Don't try and tell me those motivational comments like, 'you're a beautiful young woman' are not just something you picked up at Mommy School!) Say I'm ugly, and at least I'll know you're honest...
If nothing else.
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