Considering the way my life's been going lately, is this even really a surprise? I feel like I'm on one of those prank shows, where a person's friends or family or whatever plays this really bad joke on them that's more sort of bullying, really. I feel like that, only instead of the prank being pulled by everyone I love, it's by Life. Destiny. Fate. Misery. Torment. All my favorite depression-inducing factors that seem to really enjoy making my every day life living hell. Why can't they just say hi and go--away? I want to be done with life! I want to done being a pawn in the metaphorical game of chess aka life.
I wish there was something else I could say, like something that hasn't been said in the past five posts already. But what more is there to say, really? What more can I say that hasn't been said? Oh God, I hate, hate, hate, HATE myself.
And now I'd better finish off this blog post before it becomes some fricking suicide letter. Hopefully there'll be another one after this, but who knows? And of course the tears fall, and everything is dark. Gets black and blacker until I'm swimming in a lake, drowning, really, midnight black...I'm drowning in a lake at midnight where no one will find me and I can't even find myself anymore.
Could my life get any more fucked up? I think not.
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