"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~Eleanor Roosevelt
While that might be true, apparently my consent is not needed. The hardest thing in life is to give someone everything you have, to lay your feelings all out on the table, and for them to go, "Oh, no thanks."
It's not just upsetting, it's mortifying. To put yourself out there, vulnerable to everyone, is one of the hardest things to do. It's also one of the hardest things to bounce back from.
The dreaded four words: "Let's just be friends."
A loud thunk echoes in my chest, my heart hitting rock bottom. The sound of glass shattering is my heart breaking in two. Life is one of those things that is full of surprises...was it stupid of me to hope that him liking me back could be one? That maybe, just maybe, he returned my feelings?
Maybe my expectations were too high. Maybe I'm just not pretty enough. Maybe the attraction just isn't there for him.
No matter the reason, rejection is awful. It's humiliating. It made me want to hide under a rock and never come out. But I did, because I refuse to let the sick feeling of having your feelings unrequited keep me from living my life.
I guess I should have known better; this is my life we're talking about. UGH. I feel like such a moronic idiot, and yes, I know that's stupid, since I'm basically calling myself a dummy two times, but I don't give a flying fuck.
I've never felt so awkward and mortified in my entire life. But I want to know something: can you ever go back? Can you ever leave the Realm of Uncomfortable Situations and rejoice in the Land of All is Forgiven?
I hope so. That's the only way I'll be able to move on, to forgive myself.
Forget that. There's no way I can ever forgive myself, whether or not he does taken out of the equation. I messed up big time, and there's just no going back.
Unrequited love sucks.