"A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you." ~Elbert Hubbard
Really? Is that really true? Because I've had many 'friends' who turn out to be less than...loving. What I love is that the truth--which this person asked for in the formation of our friendship--is ironically the thing that drove us apart in the end. Isn't that funny?
No, not very funny at all. Another sad truth? I really think it's true, that a *romantic* relationship really does ruin a friendship. Unfortunately, once the truth is out there, the other person's feelings laying there on the table, how do you go back? Is that even possible? And is it better to have the other person pretend that what they said never was vocalized? To have that odd, strenuous tension stretching between you? A quiet abyss of the unsaid, hanging above you, tauntingly out of reach?
I wish that it hadn't happened, I really do. But you know what you could have had the decency to do? You could have told me how you felt about us...after the fact. Not went through our mutual friend because you were too scared of me to say the truth to my face? Really? Am I terrifying? Or am I just a reminder of what you screwed-up and can never get back?
We all make mistakes, you know. In fact, if you don't, you're probably not human. But the fault lies not in the mistake, it lies in the inability to admit to your wrongdoing. It's true...and yes, the truth often hurts, scars deeply, sometimes without ever healing...but what's the harm in trying? Trying to patch things up?
Truthfully, I think we were both screwed from the beginning. I don't know what I was thinking. But I can't do it with you. Not anymore. After these injuries I've acquired from your brashness? Yeah, I'm done. With you. With us. With whatever we had.
I'm done. With. Every. Single. Thing.
Now that it's out in the open, I can breathe again. Can inhale knowing the air I'm taking in isn't tainted with your influence, with your cold distance and unwillingness to talk to me.
Know what? You're not worth it. No friendship is worth it if in order to make it work, one person does everything.
I'm tired of it, and frankly?
I've never felt so fucking free.
