Solitary Silence

How is it that such a loud background can make me feel so very, very, very empty? All these words ratchet off my body, pinging here and there, but never seeming to reach their final destination. Even in a room full of people, I am only a fragment of an existence. If a puzzle is missing a piece, and you can only find a half of one, where do you go from there? Do you find its counterpart and glue it back together? Or does there come a time when you have to say to yourself, "You know, maybe I should just give up. It's not worth searching and taking time out to locate it."?

Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I wonder how much longer I can dangle off the cliff and not want to jump and end my life. Maybe being crazy isn't the greatest thing, after all. Maybe it's the reason why I've reached this stalemate. It's like a diabolical game of checkers: the red and the black are stuck in a position where neither one can make a move.

Personally, I hate the ways events happen. I hate how I react to them. Most of all, I've decided maybe being out of control isn't a joyride. Maybe it's a free ticket to an insane asylum. And let me tell you, that's nothing like Disney World.

That Kind of Day

I love this song to the ninth degree and beyond. I may not be depressed, but you don't have to be depressed to want to listen to "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane.

How I imagine myself while listening to this song:

It Hurts to Watch

It does. I can't see her face or hear her voice or imagine her in my mind without breaking down inside. So broken, so utterly defeated. Like the stump of a tree left when everything else has been taken. I don't know what to do, so here is this: I love you oh so much, and I have faith you'll survive this ordeal. And if you don't, just know I'm here for you, when those tears finally fall.

Poems Inspired by Singers (Part 1)

Chasing the Sun--Sara Bareilles

Empty tombs surrounding the peaceful resting place,
We are told to make the best of our time on this earth,
And so we do.
To waste what life we have left,
Is a crime unforgivable,
Think of those whose lives have been so unfairly stolen,
Only half begun,
They left us too early but for now
We must content ourselves with living for them.
Try to be your best self
And see how happy you'll be,
At the end of the day,
When the sun sinks below the tombstones,
And the night is creeping in,
Remember those who have passed,
And in doing so open your lungs,
Breathe in the life surrounding you,
And be thankful for every day,
And the fact that you can wake up with your eyes wide open.
You are living and so live you must.
You must chase the sun.

This Ain't Goodbye--Train

Waving goodbye to the one who I'd loved
Brings sad reminders of the cherished times
Before they had to leave,
Leave me in their unspoken trail of tears.
They left without a word,
So cruel and unforgivable,
Walking out of my heart
With nothing more than a silent nod.
I tell them I'll see them again
And they placate me with their ploy,
Their ploy that someday we might rejoice,
But even I know deep down inside,
Just how much of a lie it really is.
Say what you want to,
But everyone knows that in the end,
The words said aloud are much less important
Than the shadows hidden along the way
To heartbreak.

King and Lionheart--Of Monsters and Men

Unheard of monsters prowl the streets,
The witching hour crawling upon the weary innocents.
They go about their business,
Unaware of the dangers awaiting them in the dark.
How oblivious they must be,
Walking straight into the belly of the beast.
Then again, stolen loved ones,
People separated by unjustified boundaries,
The citizens the prey,
And the oppressive creatures,
Who slither and writhe along the dirty streets.
Streets that once used to belong to people who
Lived there,
People who had a safe haven, a place of peace and rest.
Whatever happened to serenity,
To human decency replaced by the darkest corners of the mind?
To courage turned away from in favor of bypassing bravery?
A city of weakness,
Of evil and mystery and shrouded shadows.
Is this what our human race has become?
A place that barely holds on to its morals?
How sad, how disturbing
That it took only the whisper of suggestion
To sway the minds of our human counterparts,
Towards a cruel, unbreakable entity?
I'd rather die.