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Do you not understand what the title of this post is? Great! Neither do I. My feelings...I just feel so empty inside of me. Like there's some bomb inside my stomach that is ticking away and will soon blow up unexpectedly and make a hole. That's how I feel, and it's horrible. I don't know why I feel this way, but I do. Void...total emptiness, that's how my emotions feel like-upside down. A roller coaster, headed for disaster. Because: the roller coaster is going 100 miles per minute and there aren't any more tracks ahead. It's almost like my body will shut down and shatter into a million little pieces. And this is because of

OWEN

No wait, I have to stop thinking about him! Ugh! Grr! Fine, here I go.

I forgot.

Christmastime

Hi, Bloggers and other people! Well, I have to say, I adore Christmas. (I realize this is really late to post it, but I've had a lot of things going on) Christmas was so nice this year, and especially this year because it was just me and my family. I mean, don't get me wrong; I love (<3) my grandparents to death, but sometimes it's nice spending time with the people you love most. That is cheesy, I know, but it's true! Think about it: If your family never wanted to be with you or always went out somewhere to hang out with other people, wouldn't you feel like crap? I just think it's nice to find a time where everyone is happy and cheerful. I mean, when my mom gets upset or angry, it's really hard to deal with it-she pushes all her bad moods on us and then blames us for things we haven't even done to her! But I guess you know the saying, right? "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" :) But still, she's my mom, and I love her dearly. Moms aren't supposed to be perfect, anyway, and neither are  Dads, either! In fact, nobody is perfect, nothing is. We live in a perfect, imperfect world. And honestly? I wouldn't have it any other way.  

Muffin Attack

Muffin...

1. Attack

2. Panic

3. NO MORE!!!!

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no!!!! My favorite Chocolate-Chip muffins aren't sold anymore! What am I to do???? Oh, I want those muffins, crave them, NEED them!

Well, maybe I can live without them...right? Right. =(  (=

Owen

Today I just realized something:

As I finished breakfast (It was 9:30 at the time; I was exhausted that night) I came into the family room. It was just like it is always, maybe a tad more messy, perphaps, but nothing showed the sign of what was to come next.

I grabbed a blanket off the chair and sank down onto the couch.
"So" my mom said, a sly grin approaching her face, "what's this about this kid you're in love with? What's his name?"
My heart sank at that moment. I had already told her about a gazillion times, but I gave in. After beating around the bush for quite some time, I hadn't managed to shake her off, so I finally told her, "Owen."

"Oh" was all she said. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I decided that I wanted to leave this conversation. As I left the room, she added, "Who does he hang out with?"

I replied, "I don't really want to talk to you about it, okay?" I walked away, until she said, "come on Katie, really, just tell me who he hangs out with!"

"NO!" I shouted, and I closed my door. I was scared, angry, and sad all at the same time. I mean, I don't usually act like that, and then I just wished she would stop pestering me. I also knew that somewhere, deep down inside of me, that there was no possible way that he would ever like me, no matter how hard I could try. But I did realize something today:

Love isn't always easy to find, and even less so when it's trying to find you. But really, it will come. I believe it will...and I know, for a fact, that, someday, I'll find just what I'm looking for.

The Magic of a #2 Ticonderoga pencil

Now you may be asking, "What the heck is the magic of a #2 Ticonderoga pencil?" And I'll answer it with:


1. With it, I learned how to write...it might just turn me into a famous author one day! (I really doubt this, but you never know, right?)

2. It is the only pencil that ever gets out of stock in stores like Staples, and the Office Depot.

3. When I am in school, that, to me, is the only pencil that most people seem to have.

4. It is the only pencil that doesn't break as soon as you sharpen it...hallelujah! (It's about time, too!)

5. Well, actually, I can't say as I know much more...



Now, what is the point of this list? To prove that the Ticonderoga pencil is not only a pencil. It is much more than that-it is magic.

In Tune

I just recently had my concert. A.K.A last night. I never really get dressed up to go to school, or at least, I don't really care that much, but as yesterday was one of my first Small Chorus concerts, I knew I needed to dress up. I mean, it's common manners, isn't it? Anyway, I dressed up in my purple dress, with black high-heeled shoes (YUCK!). For some weird reason, we don't need to do exercises with our voice, we just sing and it sounds good. But on our concert, we needed to do many tries of our songs to get it right, which bothered me greatly. I mean, we were supposed to sound good whenever we sung, whether we practiced or not, right? Well, anyway, I got this feeling our chorus teacher was disappointed with us, that we couldn't get it right the first time...but I couldn't blame him! I was disappointed in myself as well, but I held my head up high and hoped that the next one would be much better. I could only hope! 

TTYL

OMG! I'm a horrible person-I just talked to my dad using text slang! What will I ever do with myself????

Pathetic Names

How about this one?

FAIRIES IN FAIRYLAND

You couldn't have been a little more creative? Not even a little? 

Wake me up I'm dreaming

Why does everything feel so much better when you're dreaming? Usually, in my dreams, I fantisize myself winning many Oscars and Emmys-and of course getting mobbed by many fan clubs. Why oh why do dreams have to taunt us so much? Why can't we sleep away all our problems? Sometimes, I'd rather have a horrible and scary dream than one where I get lost and wrapped up in amazingness. Dreams are very frightening things-in more than one way. But a better question is: Why and how do we think these things? That's what I'd like to know!  

What it's like to be a pirate

Peter looked that way and saw a huge man-more a horse than a man-who hadn't been there a minute before. His enormous black-booted feet were braced on the deck. His right hand held a long, coiled whip.

I wonder what he...

It happened in a second, at most two. A sailor bolted for the gangplank, his bare feet slapping wood. He had taken perhaps three long strides when the whip cracked-it moved much too fast for Peter to see it-and wrapped itself around the man's ankle like a snake. The sailor crashed to the deck as the giant jerked the whip back, dragging the man effortlessly, as if he were no more than a dead cat, to the feet of the scowling Slank.


 Slank glared around the deck."Anybody else having thoughts about leaving?"


No getting off the ship now, Peter thought.

-Peter and the Starcatchers

Painful.

Why Junior Sizes are annoying

On Monday, I went shopping with my mother for a dress to wear at Thanksgiving. Two things first:

1. I absolutely hate shopping-despise it...avoid it at all costs!
2. Secondly, I only went because I NEEDED and wanted a dress-I wouldn't have gone otherwise. I swear!

First we went to TJ Maxx-no luck there. Then, we went to Kohl's. "Kohl's always has dresses Sweetie," my mom said to me "we'll definitely find something, I know so!" Right...sure. Kohl's didn't have any dresses at all, so that was out of the picture. We went to Macy's next. (One thing I don't like about Macy's is that it always reeks of perfume. YUCK!) Anyway, on the first floor, there wasn't any clothes except men's, so we asked the store manager about where Junior  Sizes were. "Right up on the second floor. Use the escalators-they're right over there." He pointed to his left. " 'Kay, thanks," my mom said, and we hurried up the escalator, towards the Juniors Department. "Wow," I breathed, "those dresses are SO beautiful. We'll find a dress here, right?" I asked excitedly. "You'd certainly think so, wouldn't you?" My mom said to me. But as we continued to search for dresses, what she said hit me. You'd certainly think so, wouldn''t you? But I continued to shop with her, riffling through racks and racks of dresses. Finally, I saw the perfect one. Or ones, should I say. I'm not going to go in detail, but it twirled and twisted whenever I moved-or at least, it looked like it would have. But with just my luck what happens? The dress's zipper won't go up- translation? It didn't fit! I was so upset that I started to cry. I know I was acting like a baby, but at the time, it was a total tragedy-I'm not kidding! I was weeping so loud that the store manager had to personally come up to us and ask if I was okay. Afterwards, we left the store. Later on, my mom pipes up and says "Honey, let's just go check one more place." And so I went in, knowing this wouldn't have a dress for me, either. But just as I was about to lose hope, a salesperson came up to us and gave us a purple dress in my size. I slowly and very reluctantly moved towards the fitting room. But I got a nice suprise that day. Not only did that dress fit, it twirled and twisted as well or even better than the other dress! It's color was amazing on me...the dress was in every way possible perfect! For the rest of the day, a smile remained on my face.

 It had been a great day.

Get over it

Not really nice, is it? No! It isn't, at all. Yet, that's what we say, every day, not even aware how hurtful we are being. I used to say it to people, all the time...and I bitterly regret it. I wish I could just take it back, like it was never said. Then I would have felt so much better, and I wouldn't hate myself so much. But the thing is, you can't take it back, no matter how sorry you may be. And those people who I've said these things to need to know I'm sorry-even if I can't take it back. Because now I realize how awful I was to them.
 I used to be bullied by some girls in a different town in school. They mocked me every day about the clothes I was wearing, how fat I was, how I talked, even how I walked. One day, one of the mean girls who always teased me, came up next to me, and hit me. When I said "OW!" The girl kicked me harder and walked away cursing. From that day on, I realized I had to stand up for myself, because it certainly seemed like no one else would. When recess came, I positioned myself behind a particularly bushy bush. I was always smart to wear a jacket, and bring a fleece to sit on. I also brought a book with me outside every day, to get my mind off the mean girls. But that wasn't always easy, because every day the head mean girl and her posse went searching for me on the playground where the bush I sat in to hide myself was. Needless to say, I needed to find another hiding place-one where I knew they couldn't find me. But I tried absolutely everywhere:under and in the slide, on top of the tunnel on the playground (this would have been very clever, because under the tunnel it was very muddy, which meant that the mean girls would have to risk getting their clothes caked with mud-except for the fact that the girls didn't seem to care about their clothes...no, they definitely just wanted to bully and embarrass me. But I just kept persevering-until I couldn't hold it in anymore. During a specially long recess, the girls were being really mean. So then the rest just came flooding out. "You know what, guys? GET A LIFE! All you guys care about is torturing kids til' they cry- do you even know how totally mean that is? And if you think anyone wants to be your friend, just forget it. People see how mean you are-even the teachers are noticing! Do you want your reputation to just label you as 'a bullier?' If you think that would be cool, then just know that that will follow you around forever. Good luck with that!" They all stared viciously at me, until I said "Just get over yourself!" I stalked away, fuming.
 But from then on, I realized that no matter how mean they were, I shouldn't have done it that way-I probably should just have talked to my parents about it. But the time had passed. I had made a mistake, and it was all over and done with. But now I don't say stuff like that-I'm a much nicer person, and I really believe in myself now. And I am very strong. I don't let people push me around like that anymore. Nor will I ever.

My own Glee Club

I'm weird-a nerd, geek, or should I say, 'Gleek.' I watch Glee all the time- I <3
it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Although I have to say I'm a little disappointed that it's only a new episode every other week. BOO!!!!!!!!!!) What I'm trying to get at here, is that I don't I just watch it, I live it, everyday. But my Glee Club is really called Small Chorus. It's for really talented singers. Our lives revolve around singing-and honestly, I don't mind. It's nice having a place to be during dumb activity period. It's also cool that I feel like I belong to something-and during Middle School that's a good thing to have. You know, a safety zone. And throughout Small Chorus as the year goes by, we all bond more and more. And while I treasure my time in regular Chorus, Small makes everything look better, be better, and feel better. WE ROCK!!!!

The Game of Life (GOL)

Sometimes, life feels like a game. Am I right? Well, I may not be exactly right, but I know that I'm right about one thing. You can't always control it. Some people reach the Finish Line earlier than others, no doubt about it, and some people move very slowly, which, in some cases is good. But the point is, there are many (I mean many) twists and turns in the Game of Life, and if you're me you'd know that this is not always good. Many people in my life are sick with illnesses, which is not easy to handle. And besides, how would you feel if that were to happen to you? Not cool, right? Exactly. I pride myself on trying to get through the day without crying. Lately, though, that hasn't been easy. And sometimes I wish I had a normal, stress-free life, not a hectic, makes-you-hysterical life. But then I think how awesome it is that I have such supportive family and friends-and I remember how cool it really is. And I manage to make it through every day, with a smile on my face. Because you know what? That's just the Game of Life. =) 

Wise Words

Life is short, so very short that we always need to make the most of it. Here is a tip:

"Life is short. Buy shoes."

The truth about persepective

Art is a wonderful thing, isn't it? But the thing is, Art is never real. At least it isn't to the person observing the Artist's work. This is because the observers have absolutely no clue as to what the artist was thinking when he or she created the masterpiece. But to the observer, they only see what they choose to see. That's why it's always hard to decide what the artist means. And sometimes, that's the best way to go.

Sometimes

No comments from the Peanut Gallery

Peanuts.What do they mean to you?  To some people, they might mean the comic strips in the newspapers, or the Peanuts specials on television sometimes. To others, they might mean actual peanuts-nuts, things you can eat, you know? And sometimes, even, it may be the name of something or someone. But to me, it has an entirely different meaning. Say for example, that you were telling someone about a dream you had once, but they keep on interrupting you with pesky queries. You know what I say to that? "No comments from the Peanut Gallery!" The good news is, this usually shuts them up-for the time being, at least. =) And while nobody ever understands what I'm saying to them, it seems to get my point across...GO PEANUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ode to Chester

My sixth grade LA (Lanuguage Arts) teacher-go Mr. Fredette!- had this 'thing' where he absolutely hated the name Chester. Despised it. Whenever something needed a name, he would say and squint "okay, class, what do you think the name should be?" And we would all say: "Ooooh, how about Chester, Mr. Fredette?" He would laugh and say softly: "Alright kids, that's a good name-but no more, okay?" He wasn't ever really serious, and he was an awesome teacher-really funny and super nice and friendly-but boy, Chester was a big thing for him. Sooooooooooooooooo hilarious, but we didn't make fun of him...he was WAY too nice for us to do that to him. So anyway, I just wanted to take this time to thank someone important-Chester. Thanks, buddy, for helping me realize that no one in the world has a worse name than you. And that no matter what, you're always good for laughs.

Everything is black and white

My favorite black and white movies (In other words, colorless movies):

• All time favorite: AND THEN THERE WERE NONE!

WHOOPS! I forgot that I've only seen one in black and white! Philip Longbar (b?) was totally cute in that movie...actually, Zac Efron is much cuter-so HOT! ;) And you've gotta love the accents, the background music, how quirky and cool the characters are, the suspense....EVERYTHING! Basically, everything about the movie is awesome! And if you haven't seen it- I advise you to do so!

You gotta love the oldies!

Why my cat is a pain in the butt

My cat is ancient-or, should I say very old. We got him when he was very young, and at the time, was decent. Recently, though, we discovered that our cat, Moses, has diabetes. He could lick himself for hours, usually only stopping to eat and drink. And to sleep. He also became more and more thirsty as he grew, and we learned that he would always drink much more than the average cat. His weight was also an issue. You know the rule that you can't expect something to be healthy and thin if you give it too much food and not enough exercise, right? {If you don't know the rule, then don't worry. I just made it up. :) } Anyway, Moses is the exception to that rule. And if you think your cat is fat, don't even start! And so to stop him, we gave him numerous cones so that he couldn't lick-turns out he was a lot smarter than we thought he was. During a month and a 1/2, Moses managed to evade a total of about 7 or 8 cones! So we set the cones aside, and decided to let Moses make his own choices for a while. In a couple of months, we gave Moses a new cone-that was because he had acquired many hot spots on his belly. We also bought bitter apple to rub on his spots so he wouldn't want tro lick them. The point is, as much as I'll always love him, he is absolutely annoying! You want to play with him, he attacks; you want to pat him, he'll bite; you want to pick him up, he'll claw and scratch at you til' you let him go-but that's just Moses!